its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
