remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
