I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
