And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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