Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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