if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
