I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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