I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
