butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
