I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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