Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
