Taylor Swift is so right about you.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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