everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
