I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
