am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
