Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
