and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
