Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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