i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
