; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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