i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
