His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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