No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
