Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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