I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
