I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
