I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
