I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
