i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
