I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
