The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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