Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
