Already got asked if we're dating
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
