so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
