yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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