so explain again why im purple
no
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Randomize
