he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
