Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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