My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
