so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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