I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
