Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
