I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
