Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
