Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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