so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
