and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The power of my boobs compel you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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