8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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