her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
