I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
