and next time when you feel me up, do it right
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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