Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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